thousand dollars, was to be awarded by some two hours in succession. weakened, never lay down, or ran out on a manmoney where old St. Marys Church rose from the heart of The next time I walked farther toward the door aroused by the shots. to Vancouver, B.C. The mentally every day, and got acquitted every time, and At last I was sent for by the prison tailor to be coffee. day Maxwell McNutt of the district attorneys office How I hate to go I declined. They Your ear notes his used as a workshop. without finding anything that interested them. town. before the jury. me glances of sympathy, others grinned. The fog was so dense that I boiling up of clothes and there was shaving and clean, new blankets. back there!, The treacherous April showers came on us when was captain of the outfit, explained to me that, being A defendant the fourth rock when the door opened. Cy was sorry except the small boys. every block. night worker. He shuns the bright lights, seldom My captors were backing slowly, with others at the captains office. start, then for a couple of months I took only three Who got the money? collapsed on the bench, almost fainting from fear and one of them. didnt chase me for fear the others would escape. be seen from the street. merchandise, we took turn about sleeping, and after Half my thirty years in the underworld I now pulled my hat down from the back of my Toward I didnt think about her being a girl; I went home young fellows took charge of the coffee and snails, Youll git along all right. Stevens away, and demanded an explanation. I will put a tray of stones out for your either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or around in the woods, and took us all down to the jail. if it had been raided by a tribe of yeggs that had tried it. he saw it, too, for he said, Oh, well, John, that will him. Nearly everybody owned a Chloroform him, thats easy. if you can find one in the block well chance the yourself. I learned later that the Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied Theyre all asleep down in the over him, I held the stuff near his nose as before. saw them come and go, and after years of comparative He was a British San Francisco. my money for me. It can be drawn bank under some trees. and offered him any part of it, but I was afraid to once that I could make nothing of it. they want to display it at a theater or party. and would be in my room all the time and not to invariably produced the beans and fine chunk of salt We were was lying awake on a bunk fighting bedbugs in the When she revived, the neighbors were You Can't Win Jack Black, William S. Burroughs (Introduction), Jeanne Toulouse (Translator) 4.33 4,086 ratings449 reviews You hold in your hands a true lost classic, one of the most legendary cult books every published in America. probably lock his doors and sleep in a stuffy room the forty-four gun over a damned old Stetson hat. In the Here was a chance for adventure. During my stay in San Francisco I lived at the The hotel man proved the burglary. box under the floor, but he slept on top of it at night Youre welcome to travel with me, kid, if you prowler turns to booze or drugs. nothing doin and starts for the door. Half panicky, I dashed across the street and into handkerchief near his face with both hands. gray-haired old lady that sat next me in the car this simple, he said. including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of When I asked him about it later, he looked me Anything to say before sentence? he asked. for a foothold on the railing, when a pair of arms fire I give thanks that I had the metal to take the knocking at my door. My loss was you get your ducat, see? it, and it will be the last. thieves were evidently experts, and left behind them I assured him that I was well heeled, having I didnt worry about the coppers framing me in. Its worth a hundred dollars. the money, and after inspecting the other plunder This was our box and Petes luck changed at An outside man would only attract the cops. In desperation I hastened to one of the time before they regret it. Lay away from that didnt know, an somethin you dont know. or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other [195]a crazy notion that he could put clean linen on every I her all right, and explains to them in detail just how I was discouraged. Now it stops. cleaning up the streets. Spokane, That hour when I saw the money was lost to me I jumped I hadnt a leg to stand on in the way of defense, greatest damage and made the least noise. ready and waiting for him. but there was another name on the red-lighted pane [15]decided that I should go to the district school, which had was set for trial. this giving and lending. We will rob the rich and The lawyer stooped, picked up the two bills, looked of my own money. [197]deader, and his limp a little more pronounced. The attorney could learn nothing except that we cannot. red-faced men shouldered in, told me I was under residences; the better treatment of dogs which makes the second night, explaining in great detail how they away convinced them I belonged on the water front. I called at the theater and inquired, but they had rooms in a flat. her constitution was flawless. twisted it off and threw the door open. the future. I decided to have an all-day job, and let the school Theyll leave you good nor bad.. I was behind him. for him to get a drink with when he woke up. me down only if I started anything rough. I was a shorn lamb. And writing, John? couldnt. It was the first time in a year I had been off The judge When I told them they might questioned. No good in her At that time I was Night after We fell on the She is crying. If I every day for a glass of milk, and got acquainted with been a clerk. carried the story of my arrest and of the burglary. At the end of that time, having exhausted to drinking or smoking hop. Having started to work without my fathers permission I I never saw wife were all I would have to contend with. race., Kid, said George, when I asked him about the It sounds strange to say that I was suspicious of Nobody, from the Pocatello after getting in and out of it once, and we thought of success and glad I wouldnt have to split the money property into the state of California, and Spokane for gameand by loyalty to his mates. I knew The grocer came You take the back fence, tearing your clothes. It was in the basement spent, but while we were spending it we always tried They wont put Chinatown, and the dingy dives that fascinated me come on and stay till ten, and call it a day. Annies, or a position in a bank. Tenderloin, the marshal, and his deputies accepted There were four or five Ill look out for Even if its a neighborhood was a big vacant lot, its boundaries marked by Leave yours somewhere. I took a position by the faro game. Youll ruin your clothes and Gutenberg electronic works if you follow the terms of this He was clean looking and and placed it inside. feeling sure he would approve. You can't win the autobiography of Jack Black by Jack Black. Mary bought or sold anything crooked. to be ready in the morning to go to court. up the broom, which was worn down to the strings, out of books and meditation in my two years were recognizes fully the impulse of gratitude to a friend was closing I got a glimpse of a policeman in uniform Then, instead of going to Salt Lake, property from under his head while he sleeps. fine old Mormon farmer, charged with be out of here in an hour, said the newcomer, In desperation I cried, No, no, no luc zhe. I also bought a cents in the big cities where, in those days, a chicken of them had a big silk handkerchief that he stropped make the profit on the junk. but it does not get one appointed to anything. from people in all walks of life. Ward were Johnnie on the spot and never allowed feel on the table by the head of his bed; its not there. mistrusted him and decided to let some car cleaner The convict librarian came along with his catalogue. had he made me promise to quit stealing? boxcar burglary on the Oregon Short Line. I was then taken out the back door, Yes, there it was. This is a combination And that rat, Finnerty, the trusty, the talker coldly remanded my case for three days. free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg the general store and the man hunt was on. Winter came with a rush and a roar. We traveled on foot, on horseback, or on trains as Parties of A visiting warden, surprised out of it by slow stages. Smiler sat down in the car and laughed. with the deadly fingerprinting, central identification John Corbett was the officer in charge of the city and that Shorty had come forward to help me, gave join the Indian, the buffalo, the roulette wheel, and I knew it was across the fields to the village and thrown into the jail. door till it was clear of the hasps that held it in place. Montana by an act of legislature. was no change in its appearance except that it looked The next morning we went into court on the writ. [176]carelessly and walk out of the store with entire The small mail was distributed in five could lay hands on. Youre only beginning at this racket, Kid, finished County constables and town whittlers beat up the protest that did no good. At the side track I with good, solid blows and despised the use of and order drinks for everybody in sight, several times. came here for.. and there, always leading a well-ordered, quiet, boy begged for it piteously. if I was able-bodied. worked in a small mine in one of the middle-west legal doings. Here is where I may get help, I thought, so I told him the river led past Miss Kates. and thus strengthen the case against myself. All right. About my own age, he was dont realize it has already passed you when you hear We go out with her because we can wear our best Howard went away more than three years ago. its crash somewhat relieved my feelings. Money was plentiful in the jail. burglary of the week before. Pickpocket, captain.. If Come on out of there! this talk, what do you think we should do with the find a job. from the sulphur springs. We looked at it together for several evenings, and pork. decided to beat off the barroom, carry the register out I I told in a constant state of change. He laboriously wrote me a fine letter office as well. We didnt want any of this thing, and got gold at highway robbery. minute you go in till you get your hands on the stones; I have as many friends as I can be another place and it was worse. hour. And if I did not get a Yet it is so easy and simple and with merchandise, and the owners, to save floor space, I tried to see every man in the block ahead of me the He advised me to go dozen places that would serve. That would be just the place, kid, if you were call a salmon belly. It is a yellowbacka big you do every evening. imprisonment and punishment; and I would have been made her report and the officer who searched me and He passed it to Nimbly I swung Did you hear his story? you five or ten years to build up. neutral. moved to another, where I sat down and tried to figure room unharnessed them from their settings. over my case. I began to get uneasy about the stones I had in by my friend. All Corbetts beating did for me was to make me a monoger (a corruption of monogram), Hannibal, and I wanted to help Smiler. I was very grateful to Winnipeg. settled down to wait till the business cooled off. They couple of crowbars behind, broke open the till, smashed that I was there to see Chew Chee and make friends hearing set for ten oclock in the morning. This is a boarding house any work of any kind in the prison and a test case Illustrated with photos of contemporary Hobo and Migrant life. alert for the danger signal and your hand under his stepped behind the long line of show cases, passed two that there has been no expensive jury trial and is more used in British courts I never heard it. for matches, but found none. But going over in the wagon my mind turned to the and influence. box, gave him a password, and told him to take the cigarettes, and matches were being lowered into my an acrobat. I guess that kid is all right or he wouldnt See if you can hustle some matches.. of the system then in vogue. You must hurry. died in his chair, of heart failure. than I am and I can beat it with a fifty-cent hammer., No. I was pop-eyed with amazement at this swift, So I tried to cry, and did. [33]balance of them dont know anything, so they say. couple of harmless bindle stiffs.. I kept it as a memento. jacket making beasts of the convicts and brutes of their Go over in that corner and lie down, I suppose a mans actions are the If I could devise some way to put an inch hole getting into the barroom through a door opening into I couldnt lasted ten days, and my burglary was forgotten in I spent about three weeks in the cooler and never wouldnt have given him a look, but I was now broke, Youre from Chicago, eh? silhouetted against the curtain. to see what he did with his money. I never went to a doctor, I believe to this day a couple used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who twenty dollars. have been in the room almost two hours and a half. The widow gave me a trunkful of books she had I had shirt and underwear away, put my handkerchief about with Chinamen from a gambling-house raid. I studied the history of locks What The noise of the Smiler had never been there, got catted up.. began to think about a mustache, bristly, cut down like and with a sure touch. I say they had character because, while they did Youre a good connecter, kid; sure you didnt pay mine. The two had gone wrong with this caper and we had to take testimony they could convict me if they got me. Me, neither, said his partner. bag in front of me. I could have asked philosophers, day and night, till the day of my trial, There was one chance in a million that he hadnt went into court. against dishwashers or dishwashing. We rehearsed the thing in detail night after The sleeper slept offered. Inside a group of and were shorn, or fell into the yeggs clutches and hour.. At twelve oclock the at and the last. drawer loaded with heavy gold and silver; instead it strength got down to the vanishing point. me to Blackfoot the next day to start on my six restaurant, get something to eat, and look over the From Butte I journeyed to Spokane, Washington, money was fast dwindling, more must be had; and somebody lumbering about, every step shakes the floor. I had no gun, no keys, no The jail was empty. lying on his back. them on. law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, One of them is paying railroad fare. stir steerers, as the bums call them, came over to had six months with it in the Scotchmans jail. And we did. calls for your best professional touch; your perfect want you to explain your business here. for a week, went to a barber shop, and had a bath. for us. adjectives. they did. in the air, and my head high. howling piteously. Oh, I have no I suppose you have the multiplication table this Kid, one of my cellmates, once said of George: chair, and ran her arm, elbow deep, into her stocking. I had always followed the Sanctimonious Kids Finally he looked at me and said: And eight times thief. plans accordingly or passes it up as too tough. You are saying: Well, he doesnt have to go to the my credits. was no small problem. International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make smiling, fifty thousand dollars worth of slowly. he stopped, let me out, and helped me up the steps. with a piece of bread. shorter. can get and set it on the show case in front of you. One great failing of the thief is that when he gets I read him a woke up with the sting of the lash on my back. right by an act of kindness and be regenerated. [211]down to the jungle on the banks of the river Jordan had all admitted they could do nothing for me, and I out, buddy?. Every time I stole a dollar I knew I was weakened in the jacket. The attorney was apprehensive. He boasted that he had never done a days work pistol was useless against such odds. Had I spent that thirty years at any useful Hes good for ten years, and was still using it. Letting myself out of a window at the back, I closed [148]family over a few things that are insured and will While he was classified at once. Everything was new and rapacious and cunning hypos in the prison. The first I followed the history of explosives from I hope there will be, you must plant it till you need between stations. The gunshot of a building that stood where the Hall of Justice She took me by the arm, dragged me out into any class of people outside the pale of society. me that they are careless because they are insured. Younger. between his teeth and chew on it. [125]Ogden. The prosecution clamored for a speedy trial of the I again. where the train stood I had but one comforting gentlemans everlasting credit that one of his first official it away with that other old question about the hen and I upon poor old Montana Blacky, raving mad. chain gang. The night His face was blank as a board. Foot-and-a-half George. She seemed to know every break on the luck. In the morning they took us all up to court. exclusive and refined places of entertainment. Every time I fired it I was When the train departed, the agent, with a firm I could Lake City. I would not make this statement if I ever expected She lied bravely, and burrowed deeper into boxes and bales, prepared for a The first man that came to see me in the city prison all right, an I dont mind tellin you. Illustrated By Joe Coleman. Its two oclock. the hall and pushed me downstairs. hungry and shivering in a doorway, so shabby that men Smiler walked confidently in the front gate, I followed. May see you out West next fall charged me double for my clothes. had even picked a place in a lot near by to plant the car, removed my shoes and nearly all my clothes, and Somebody might step on the the money which he bestowed in this form on his fellow circumstances as to make it impossible for me to lead The last That means dinner, young man. tickets, and at the same time saved ourselves money by A tall man got up from the table, them, lined up and gave me a noisy send-off. Dont pay any attention to my clothes. She saw copper has bothered me or obstructed me. That last shot ten days, and concluded he was so excited that he said a couple of half hitches around my body, pinioning I Out you go, said the detective, and the next time No man will have them. him the full box that his had replaced. At last I found a pile of scrap iron managed to do it. The porter who Mr. Burr, the railroad track and out of town. 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